ramblings and rants

I have really slacked on this blog thing. I read blogs everyday, but I have been bad about writing on my own. I think that it is because I have been in a really dark place lately and don't want this blog to be a downer all the time. However, sometimes I need the release.
This is where we are at with the whole baby making process. This will probable be my last cycle on Clomid. I am getting blood drawn on Thursday to see where my progesterone level is and if I actually ovulated. Dr. J doesn't want to keep wasting time if the Clomid is not working and since we are now at 21 months of TTC he feels that it may be time to move on to a specialist. Even though I am terrified, I have to agree. The simple fix of "getting me to ovulate with Clomid" isn't working. That said, if my levels look really good but I don't get pregnant, he may decide to have one more month of Clomid. But, those levels have to look really good, like perfect.
I am not sure what the next step would be. Dr. J said that it could be a different type of ovulation inducing medication along with ultrasounds to check follicles and a lot more blood testing. This could include injectible medication. IUI has also been thrown out there for the first time in this whole journey. However, IUI is a waste if I don't ovulate, so we have to solve one problem at a time. Obviously I have ovulated both on and off the clomid (miscarriage 1 was on cycle 2 and miscarriage 2 was drug free) so we are not sure what exactly is going on. All of the blood work that I have had done is not giving a reason. I will no more in a week or so, as to what the plan may be.
I am determined to not let this rule my life. It is really hard for me to realize that I am not in control at all. I refuse to become upset when someone tells me they are pregnant! I have a lot of friends that are having little girls in the next couple of months and I am so excited for each of them. Travis and I are not living our life ruled by infertility. I feel like that is all we have thought about for almost 2 years. We are working through this together!
I have signed up for 2 5K's, one at the end of March and the GO! 5K in April. I have convinced a few friends to run the GO with me! Training has sucked because I don't have a treadmill to run on and all of the ice is making it pretty scary to run. I am pretty excited to beat my time from the last race and want to train pretty hard!
Civil war reenacting is about to get underway. I know it is kind of a dorky thing, but I love dressing up in these big beautiful gowns. This is the start of the 150th anniversary battles so there are a lot of HUGE events coming up.
I finally printed off pictures from our honeymoon and can't wait to get my scrapbook together. I am slowly catching up but deciding that 2004-2006 are just not going to get done. (There are a lot of pictures that I don't even want to remember so it is not worth the time!) Right now I am focusing on the big events (wedding, honeymoon, anniversary) and then will slowly work on my year by year albums!
Ok, I guess that is enough ranting for today! Thanks for listening!

I did it!!!

I may not have had the fastest time!





Or the smoothest stride!




I may have walked a bit more than I wanted!




But I finished!



I accomplished my goals!



I ran under a 14 minute mile!


I finished in under 45 minutes!(and the official time was even less than this!)


I had a great running team! Thanks again Jake and Amy!!




19 days after being cleared by my doc to run again,after a month of not running, I finished my first race!


I finished!

Goal

After talking to Rachel last night, I realized that I needed to give myself a greater goal to motivate my butt to get off the couch. I may be out of my mind, but I just signed up for my first 5K! I am going to run in the Jingle Bell 5K to benefit the Arthritis foundation. The race is on 11/21. The best part... I convinced Travis to run it with me!!!! If any of you runners out there would like to join, our team is Team Wunderlich (I know, not very creative.) If you would like to donate to the Arthritis foundation, here is a link to my page
http://jinglebellrunstl.kintera.org/kwunderlich
Here is a link to the team page
http://jinglebellrunstl.kintera.org/wunderlich

Can I just say that I am a little terrified. Never imagined that I would be signing up to run in any race. I am more of a fun walk person!!