My "not so much of a" baby

In a few short weeks, my baby will be turning 1!

 This year has really flown by!

  I can still remember things that were happening at this time last year like it was happening last week. Memorial Day weekend last year, I was heading to the RHCP concert. ( Let me tell you, not where you want to be at 35 weeks pregnant.)

I was planning for my hospital stay. Now I am planning a first birthday party!

I am not ready for this! I never knew it would be over so quickly. First the newborn stage just zipped past. Now he barely wants to cuddle. Monkey is always on the move!!! He never stops!

 He is so close to walking! I am ready to count steps, where this time last year, I was counting kicks.

 

I can't wait to see what happens in the next year!  
 

Birthdays

Today I turn 31.   It is a scary place for me because now I am "In my 30's!"  Growing up, 30 was old!!!  My dad stayed 29 for about 10 years and then turned 40 gracefully.  For some reason it was 30 that bothered him.  It bothers me.  Maybe it is because I don't "feel" 31.  On a good day I feel about 16.  Most of the time I feel about 12.  There is something about saying "Oh she is in her 20's" that makes people forgive all the stupid stuff you do!  By 30, you are supposed to have your shit together.  But I don't   I still don't even know what I want to be when I grow up!  Except that I am grown up!  It sucks!

My life didn't take the plan I thought it would when I was younger.  I thought I would be done having kids by the time I turned 30.  Instead, I had my first child a month after my 30th birthday.   I thought I would be a practicing psychologist, and instead I am questioning if I am going back to school yet again! 

You know what?  I LOVE my life.  My husband is amazing and I have the most beautiful little boy!  I am the luckiest person and I wouldn't change anything!  Isn't it amazing how the dreams we made 5, 10, 15 years ago don't seem all that important. 

Here's to 31!