Birthdays

Today I turn 31.   It is a scary place for me because now I am "In my 30's!"  Growing up, 30 was old!!!  My dad stayed 29 for about 10 years and then turned 40 gracefully.  For some reason it was 30 that bothered him.  It bothers me.  Maybe it is because I don't "feel" 31.  On a good day I feel about 16.  Most of the time I feel about 12.  There is something about saying "Oh she is in her 20's" that makes people forgive all the stupid stuff you do!  By 30, you are supposed to have your shit together.  But I don't   I still don't even know what I want to be when I grow up!  Except that I am grown up!  It sucks!

My life didn't take the plan I thought it would when I was younger.  I thought I would be done having kids by the time I turned 30.  Instead, I had my first child a month after my 30th birthday.   I thought I would be a practicing psychologist, and instead I am questioning if I am going back to school yet again! 

You know what?  I LOVE my life.  My husband is amazing and I have the most beautiful little boy!  I am the luckiest person and I wouldn't change anything!  Isn't it amazing how the dreams we made 5, 10, 15 years ago don't seem all that important. 

Here's to 31!