Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Honesty

So Travis and I have reached the 12 month mark of trying to start our family. (Yes we started trying before the wedding for those of you adding up the months) We are starting the preliminary testing to rule out any problems. Travis has been tested and is normal (according to the test results anyway!) Now it is my turn. I am having a HSG (Hysterosalpingography) in the morning. This is a dye test to check the shape of the uterine cavity and make sure there are no blockages through the fallopian tubes. It is "supposedly" a quick procedure and any pain is described as period like cramps. Still, I am scared out of my mind. I think I am scared to find out the results. I never thought I would have to face fertility issues. I have always wanted kids and assumed that it would be pretty easy. I am the first of my close group of friends that has struggled to get pregnant. I have friends that have different types of pregnancy related issues, but most have been able to get pregnant right away. The hardest parts these last 12 months have been answering "No, but we are trying" when someone asked if we were pregnant, and then hearing "you are thinking about it too much, just stop trying" when they here that we aren't preggers.
Now I know that there still might not be an issue and that some people just take longer to conceive. I have read so many Internet articles and have talked to friends, coworkers, etc. I also know that there might not be any reason at all and that is the scariest part. For some people, it just doesn't happen. These are realities that I may have to face. I am trying to stay optimistic and believe that there is nothing wrong. Is it wrong that I am clinging to the article I read that says that pregnancy rates increase slightly in the cycle an HSG is performed. It is probably bunk but makes me happy to think about it!
If you have a spare thought anytime , say a little prayer that everything is normal with the test result! I could really use it!

2 comments:

Mary said...

Kathy,

Know that it is in Gods hands, always has been always will be. You will be the most loving and devoted, terrific Mom. God loves babies, maybe he wants to hang onto your a little while. Must be an awesome kid. Prayers and love to you always.

Mary
(your Dads unofficial exwife) lol

Erin said...

You are in my thoughts today and know that you can call me for anything...I am there for you.