I have really slacked on this blog thing. I read blogs everyday, but I have been bad about writing on my own. I think that it is because I have been in a really dark place lately and don't want this blog to be a downer all the time. However, sometimes I need the release.
This is where we are at with the whole baby making process. This will probable be my last cycle on Clomid. I am getting blood drawn on Thursday to see where my progesterone level is and if I actually ovulated. Dr. J doesn't want to keep wasting time if the Clomid is not working and since we are now at 21 months of TTC he feels that it may be time to move on to a specialist. Even though I am terrified, I have to agree. The simple fix of "getting me to ovulate with Clomid" isn't working. That said, if my levels look really good but I don't get pregnant, he may decide to have one more month of Clomid. But, those levels have to look really good, like perfect.
I am not sure what the next step would be. Dr. J said that it could be a different type of ovulation inducing medication along with ultrasounds to check follicles and a lot more blood testing. This could include injectible medication. IUI has also been thrown out there for the first time in this whole journey. However, IUI is a waste if I don't ovulate, so we have to solve one problem at a time. Obviously I have ovulated both on and off the clomid (miscarriage 1 was on cycle 2 and miscarriage 2 was drug free) so we are not sure what exactly is going on. All of the blood work that I have had done is not giving a reason. I will no more in a week or so, as to what the plan may be.
I am determined to not let this rule my life. It is really hard for me to realize that I am not in control at all. I refuse to become upset when someone tells me they are pregnant! I have a lot of friends that are having little girls in the next couple of months and I am so excited for each of them. Travis and I are not living our life ruled by infertility. I feel like that is all we have thought about for almost 2 years. We are working through this together!
I have signed up for 2 5K's, one at the end of March and the GO! 5K in April. I have convinced a few friends to run the GO with me! Training has sucked because I don't have a treadmill to run on and all of the ice is making it pretty scary to run. I am pretty excited to beat my time from the last race and want to train pretty hard!
Civil war reenacting is about to get underway. I know it is kind of a dorky thing, but I love dressing up in these big beautiful gowns. This is the start of the 150th anniversary battles so there are a lot of HUGE events coming up.
I finally printed off pictures from our honeymoon and can't wait to get my scrapbook together. I am slowly catching up but deciding that 2004-2006 are just not going to get done. (There are a lot of pictures that I don't even want to remember so it is not worth the time!) Right now I am focusing on the big events (wedding, honeymoon, anniversary) and then will slowly work on my year by year albums!
Ok, I guess that is enough ranting for today! Thanks for listening!
1 comment:
Rant away! It's your post. Sorry the whole baby-making thing is so frustrating. And here I thought I would be the one of us to make the process super-complicated ;) You'll get there, wherever there becomes for you.
Glad you're still excited about running the 5ks. Maybe it will inspire me to get my a$$ to the gym here. All this excitement about lots of free time to work out and all I do is read.
Anyway, just wanted to drop you a line. Back to work for me!
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